ANNE
1. ENTER THE FEMININE DOORWAY
When the world is loud, demanding and confusing, it is important to create moments of silence and introspection. The Challenge of this Month is to create more of these moments, to regulate your nervous system, strengthen your core, and find information within.
Know that
THE MASCULINE IS EXTRAVERTED. THE FEMININE IS INTROVERTED.
• For the masculine, the primary source of information is outside of himself – he finds information by observing and researching, and tends to rely on science, statistics, figures and objectivity.
• For the feminine the primary source of information is within – she feels and senses things, often long before they become obvious. Only then she wants to check if what she feels makes sense in the outer world.
• If the outside world becomes confusing and triggering, it is vital to open that inner door. Because there you can find stillness, inner strength and a wealth of information.
• If you first open the feminine portal, you will open the masculine portal - back to the external world - in a completely different way. You will no longer re-act, but purposely and heartfully act from within.
How do you open that feminine door? Simply by shifting your attention from the outside world to your body and focus on your heart and breath.
4 WEEKS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR FOUNDATION
Underneath you can find some tips & tools you can take along, week by week, day by day, in the following order. Or just pick that one tip that catches your eye, whenever you feel ready for it.
MEDITATIONS
* In two of these audios I played the following songs.
Temple of Silence / Deuter, Annette Cantor
To support the artists, I would kindly ask you to play the song you heard at least one time on Spotify, after listening to the meditation. This way, they will get a fair remuneration for the songs used. (Click on the song to access it.)
NEED A WEEK-PLAN?
If you want to deepen this trajectory every week, consider these steps.
Week 1
This first week take some time to:
• Ponder and reflect on the themes we tackled in our last Zoom call.
• Eventually (re)read the introduction and the first chapter of A Feminine Answer to Crisis, if you have the book, or other books, articles, blogs about that same topic that inspire you.
• Observe your own daily behaviour and see which specific triggers create stress, disturb you, confuse you, drain your energy. Write them down.
• Check how much time you spend scrolling on social media and investigate if you feel better afterward. What does it bring you, what is a waste of your precious time?
• Create tiny pockets of time to turn inward and check: how am I doing right now? What is going on in my body? What do I need?
• Reflect on your true intentions regarding this journey.
(You can use the questionnaire below).
Week 2
This second week, experiment with:
• Slowing down: Take a slow walk in the park, sleep late on week-ends, do some yin yoga, or spend a whole afternoon or evenings doing one same thing (yes, you can!), such as playing with your kids, knitting, painting ...
• Reducing your time out: check in your agenda which appointments are truly valuable to you and which ones you can call off. Replace one of these with Full Me-Time.
• Taking care of your body: move through sport, exercise, dance, take a bath or a massage, ...
• Creating Me-Moments of stillness to turn your attention inward: enjoy a silent walk in the woods, a quiet meditation, or some gentle breathing exercises.
(See the breath-regulating audio, at the top of this page).
• Focusing on your inner circle: spend quality time with your kids, have a sauna with your partner, meet a good friend you haven’t seen for a long time. Bond.
• Interacting with people you encounter: talk to the neighbours, say hello to a fellow passenger, or compliment a lady on her dress in the corner shop. These small acts of bonding will ease your nervous system and make you feel safer in your hometown.
Week 3
This third week make sure you:
• Honour the ritual you started: further elaborate or finetune your moment of silence, your daily meditation, or your regular inner reflection (according to the intention you set at the start).
• Try some guided meditations and discover more about your own hidden world. Open the feminine door and discover inner chambers that may have been locked until now.
(Listen to the guided meditation, at the top of this page.)
• Question yourself more regularly: write down some questions that are in your mind and try to ponder one question every day.
(You can also use the questionnaire below.)
• Make room for deeper feelings that may pop up during moments of stillness or reflection: don’t push them away or act them out, but face them courageously.
• Find ways to regulate your nervous system: do breathing exercises, take a relaxation or mindfulness course, find a good physical activity, meet with a trusted friend or therapist.
Week 4
This fourth week:
• Evaluate your practice so far: check what feels good, what does not, what needs to change.
• Decide which small rituals you want to continue taking along on your journey. What was really helpful?
• Explore 'automatic writing': in a relaxed state of mind, connect with an alter ego, a deeper loving inner voice, that you can dialogue with and that can coach you from the inside. Ask a question and see which answer rolls out of your pen.
(Listen to the audio at the top of this page, to start your automatic writing session.)
MORE TIPS
• Turn the Zoom gatherings –and all ‘Me Moments’ in between– into a ritual. Create a sensory anchor for the moments you consciously connect with this journey. For instance, you could go to a specific room, wear the same comfortable clothes, light a candle, sit on a pillow, place symbols on your altar or table, play a specific song, or diffuse a calming scent. Choose something that clearly marks the beginning of your Me Moment or Zoom call. Repeat it every time. It will literally program your brain.
• Replace scrolling with scanning yourself. How many hours did you spend scrolling today? And how many did you spend strengthening your natural feminine skills? Replace just one scrolling session with a moment to ‘scroll’ or ‘scan’ your body, your feelings, your thoughts. Notice how much more rewarding that is.
• In a moment of crisis or panic, stand still, ground yourself, and assess your surroundings. Check if there is immediate danger; if so, react quickly. If there is no immediate danger, name three things in your surroundings (e.g. "my colleague, the window, a tree") to bring yourself back to the present moment. Sit down, regulate your breath, take a glass of water, and contact a trusted person.
• When the world is driving you crazy, consciously shift your awareness from your head to your heart and find rest in that space. The best place to be when the world is overwhelming or chaotic, is in the eye of the storm.
• Don’t try to understand everything that is happening 'with your mind'. The mind can drive us crazy. Contradicting opinions, fake truths, and cognitively dissonant messages are confusing. To deal with that, we tend to make up stories just to make things make sense. Instead, drop into your heart space. It will bring you inner peace, a greater acceptance of other opinions, and a wider perspective on your situation.
• Be creative and let that inner exploration be playful. Discover your inner world like a child discovers the outside world. Keep your inner world for yourself, if that feels safer – or let it flow out through automatic writing, intuitive painting, spontaneous dancing, tantric love-making...
QUESTIONNAIRES
Check your intention
You cannot create without a pure intention. So, when starting this journey, check in and see what your true intention is.
• Is there a full YES to start this journey with yourself?
• What can you commit to? (It can be big or small, but define it clearly.)
• What do you need to make that inner commitment work? Allow yourself to receive that support.
• Determine where and when you will do this inner work: In a specific room, your car, a place in nature? How many times a week or month, and at what time?
• Do a brief evaluation at the end of the week: Did I take some time for myself and for the Journey this week? And if not – why didn’t I? Don’t judge, just notice.
Questions for self-reflection
• How do you feel right now? Find 3 words that describe your current feelings.
• If you scan your body from head to toe: what part of your body is calling for your attention? What is it telling you? What does it need?
• Is there anything you need at the moment? Can you give it to yourself? If your answer is ‘no’, or ‘not now’, why is that? Could you offer it to yourself in a different form?
• How are you experiencing the current phase in your life?
• What area of your life is most satisfying right now? (Career, health, family, relationships, home, pets, hobbies, etc.) Do you take enough time to appreciate this? Express your gratitude for 3 things in your life that are going really well.
• What area of your life is troubling you most right now? What exactly is causing you worry? Can you make it specific?
• On a scale of 1 to 10, how intense is the crisis your are currently experiencing? Does it require an immediate solution, or can you take your time?
• Can you cope with the situation as it is on your own, or do you need external support or advice? If so, who would be the best person to reach out to first? What kind of help do you need? Can you block out time in your calendar to contact or meet that person?
• If the crisis is not urgent (you are safe right now), what specific question would you like answered? Write it down and carry that question with you throughout the day. Allow the answers to come to you.
In a mystic mood?
• What does the feminine portal mean to you?
• What is your primary physical gateway to the feminine? Your heart, your vagina and womb, your third eye, or something else?
• How do you access it most easily? Through meditation, dance, music, or another practice?
• Do you have an inner guide that you converse with? Who is he/she?
• Which layer of yourself do you connect with most easily: your bodily sensations? Your emotional world? Your thoughts? Your visions?
Our next zoom is on Wednesday, October 21st. Welcome to join again!
We'll discover how we can develop a deeper trust in ourselves, and in Life Itself :-)
* By the way: this content was completely written and structured with my own human brain and hands, and inspired by my 35 years of experience working for women's magazines, writing as a journalist, and structuring texts as a final editor. I know it may resemble AI formatting, but I am pretty sure AI was instructed by the experience and skills of many many colleagues all over the world who did this work way long before them. ;-)